I've probably purchased over 1,800 cups of coffee from the same coffee brand over roughly eight years.
My order isn't complicated. Black coffee.
One morning, at a different location than I normally visited, a barista looked at the name on my payment screen and simply said, "Thanks, Derek."
I stopped for a moment. In eight years and roughly 1,800 visits, she was the first person at that coffee chain to use my name.
It was a small gesture, but I immediately felt valued. I wasn't just another transaction or the next person in line. I was Derek.
When I asked why no one had used my name before, she explained that specialty drinks typically have names written on the cups, but black coffee is already brewed and ready to go. It was simply a quick transaction. Using my name took an extra two seconds.
Two seconds. That's all it took to make a different impression.
The experience reinforced something I'd thought about throughout my leadership career, including my 13 years at the Wisconsin Athletic Club: People want to be recognized. And sometimes, the simplest way to make someone feel valued is to remember their name.
Why Names Matter
Think about how you feel when someone remembers your name after meeting you. It communicates respect, interest, and recognition. It can make an ordinary interaction feel more personal and create an opening for a stronger relationship.
Yet remembering names doesn't always come naturally. We get distracted, meet a lot of people, and move quickly from one interaction to the next.
The good news is that remembering names isn't necessarily about having a better memory. It's about being more intentional.
One simple technique I've used to help people learn, use, and remember names is FACE: Focus. Ask. Connect. End.
The FACE Technique
Focus. Make a conscious decision to pay attention when someone introduces themselves. In those first few seconds, resist the temptation to think about what you're going to say next or where you need to be. Focus on the person and their name. If you don't give it your attention in the first place, it's going to be difficult to remember later.
Ask. If you're unsure whether you heard someone's name correctly, ask them to repeat it. Confirm the pronunciation and make sure you have it right. It shows that you're interested enough to get something as personal as their name correct. Don't let the fear of asking get in the way of making the effort.
Connect. Give your brain something to associate with the name. Look for an image, pattern, or connection that makes it easier to remember. For example, if you meet someone named Bill, you might picture a dollar bill. The connection doesn't have to be brilliant. It just needs to give your brain something to work with when you see that person again.
End. Use the person's name when you finish the interaction. Thank them, wish them well, or simply say goodbye using their name. Repeating it naturally helps reinforce the memory and makes the interaction more personal.
Make the Effort
Let's be realistic. You're not going to remember every name, every time. And occasionally forgetting someone's name doesn't mean you don't care.
The important thing is not to let the fear or embarrassment of forgetting a name stop you from making the effort. If you forget, ask again. If you're unsure, clarify. Keep practicing.
When I was at the Wisconsin Athletic Club, our leadership team established a service goal: call every member by name every time they visited. We even brought team members together for training on how to learn, use, and remember names.
Some people questioned whether spending an hour training employees on something as simple as remembering names was worthwhile. I believed it was. Because those small interactions can have a lasting impact on how people experience an organization.
And the same principle applies to leadership. Whether you're welcoming a new employee, meeting a customer, working with a colleague, or reconnecting with someone you haven't seen in months, remembering a name is a simple way to show someone they matter.
In a world increasingly shaped by automation, efficiency, and AI, those personal moments matter even more. Technology can make transactions faster, but it doesn't replace the value of making another person feel recognized.
You don't need 1,800 interactions to make someone feel valued. Sometimes it takes just two seconds.
Focus. Ask. Connect. End.
This week, slow down, use FACE, and make the effort to remember someone's name. You might be surprised by the difference it makes.
